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Zlatan celebrates Passover by passing one over the goalie

By Fernando DeVasques

CARSON, CA - MARCH 31: Zlatan Ibrahimovic of Los Angeles Galaxy walks off a hero after the MLS match between Los Angeles FC and Los Angeles Galaxy at StubHub Center on March 31, 2018 in Carson, California. (Photo by Matthew Ashton - AMA/Getty Images)
CARSON, CA - MARCH 31: Zlatan Ibrahimovic of Los Angeles Galaxy walks off a hero after the MLS match between Los Angeles FC and Los Angeles Galaxy at StubHub Center on March 31, 2018 in Carson, California. (Photo by Matthew Ashton - AMA/Getty Images) /
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Viva liga MX!… but gaze at Zlatan:

Zlatan hit a nice one against rivals Los Angeles FC.  You should be ashamed of yourself if you did any work over the three-day weekend.  Not only did you deprive yourself of Christmas in Spring, but nobody cared about your effort.  We were all too busy having fun and eating meat with potatoes.  Unless you doing God’s work, which I know many of you were not.  There was one man who did and his name is Zlatan Ibrahimović–learn to spell that as soon as possible.

On Saturday, LA Galaxy took on their nemesis Los Angeles FC.  It does without saying that the stands were littered with coffee cups, wool caps (in Spring), and patches of skinny jeans.  I won’t bore you with long analysis because it is two Los Angeles teams so they could both burn for all I care.  LA Galaxy is the Major League Soccer equivalent of La Liga’s Real Madrid.

On Passover 2018, Zlatan decided to honor the occasion by reminding us that he is a little god.  People say that if God exists then why aren’t there more miracles.  To those individuals I say: you haven’t been watching:

He passed one over the goalkeeper on Passover.

Miracles abound, especially in soccer

Zlatan went on to get the winning shot via a header, but again, who cares?  You must hurry and buy your tickets for the occasion when your home MLS team plays against LA Galaxy.  There are gospels being written now that your very distant relatives will find in an eco-friendly container buried in a state park.  They won’t read about Kanye West, but they will read about Zlatan’s work.  They’ll wonder if you were there to watch his abilities in action.  Zlatan has been released from the hell that is Europe (that whole side) and came to be the very best in the west.  You’ll find yourself kneeling after you watch him perform.

Just don’t root for him if he’s playing against your team.  That would be treason.  For every one of his specialties, cheer for your team to score two.

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